Today, I looked for my cell phone for 2 hours and discovered, as I unloaded the washer, that I had washed my phone.

To my surprise, I laughed. I laughed and laughed. I loved it. How insane! How ridiculous!

Who was this person who did not take mishaps seriously? Years ago, I greedily took opportunities to release my anger. Watch out Starbucks Barista Man for not topping my latte with extra foam, after I specifically asked for extra foam!

I grew up taking pride in trying hard and exerting super-human effort. As a Jewish kid who grew up in the 70s with a severe learning disability, it was hard to learn, hard to write, and even more difficult to read. Much of my identity was locked into trying hard and refusing to fail. Life was about effort and overcoming.

It is amazing what I had to give up to get a life that is easy: self-importance, righteousness, and victimization. It sounds great, but for me I found these three delicious.

Once I gave up “hard” life transformed – new partners, different work, even a different place to live. A warning: if you are thinking of giving up “hard,” consider that life tends to fall apart, and there is a period of time where there is a void – where nothing seems to be showing up.. Wait it out. Know “easy” is on the way. A part of you who knows itself only in relation to trying hard will try to talk you into going back to the job you hate, a lover who at best is a mediocre partner, and a lifestyle that is unremarkable.

If you have ever met anyone extraordinary, they always have a sense of ease about them. They show up, their expertise inhabits them. They are a vehicle of well-being.

Consider giving up trying so hard to prove yourself . You are enough as you are. You don’t need to prove anything to anyone, even you.